The treatment tunnel: first stop... the pink bubble

Fri June 12

The only way I can describe the feeling of tackling this disease is that it feels like entering a tunnel. You can see through the tunnel and communicate with others outside the tunnel but you definitely cannot get out of the tunnel until you reach the other end.... and you can't really see the other end... and you can't really see that far in front of you. You just have to keep walking through the tunnel.... step by step.....not exactly knowing what is ahead of you..... until you reach the other end. And you hope with every cell in your body that you will emerge from the tunnel with your feet planted firmly on the top of the planet and that you will enjoy many more years walking on top of the planet.

The Tunnel:
It's scary and lonely and painful.
It focuses your attention on healing and treatment options.
It helps you let go of anything that is not helping you get better.
It forces you to make healthy choices.
It narrows your vision so that sometimes you can only see the beauty in things.
It makes you appreciate every good thing you have with a love so strong that your heart hurts.


The first stop in my treatment tunnel was the pink bubble. When I entered the breast cancer center at the PAMF I felt like I just entered a welcoming pink bubble! The intake nurse was so softspoken and kind and helpful in explaining all the treatment steps that I would likely be going through. She explained that she was always available for assistance and advice and that they also had a social worker, nutritional counselor, and financial counselor available free of charge to the patients in the center.

I made an appointment with the social worker to help me bust through claustrophobia in order to be able to endure an hour in the MRI. I *really* need to have this exam so I *really* need to figure out how to not freak out in the MRI machine.
We then made appts with the surgeon, plastic surgon and oncologist.

I'm officially IN the tunnel.